


hold my hand

by aridinosnore



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst, Character Death, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Not Canon Compliant, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-14
Updated: 2017-05-14
Packaged: 2018-10-31 15:18:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10902015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aridinosnore/pseuds/aridinosnore
Summary: "hold my hand, i am falling asleep" a sad jeggy oneshot using one of the prompts i found on tumblr





	hold my hand

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first hamilton fanfiction and woah it's jeggy. i find jeggy really cute probably because janthony themselves is really fucking cute but hey, any ships are possibly in the hamilton fandom (besides pedophilia and incest). it's not exactly canon because i don't know where the hell peggy was when john died, we don't even know if they actually hooked up or anything, hell we don't know if they even pursued anything together romantic wise. bear with me and enjoy the jeggy (p.s. i wrote this late at night so bear with that too my loves)

John Laurens always seemed to surprise Peggy Schuyler in various ways. Her bubbly personality seemed to fit well with his very own loyal and sweet demeanor. What Peggy had not expected the night they had— well she wasn’t fond of referring it to “hooking up” exactly but it was practically what had happened that night at the Winter’s Ball— was how the man softly asked her almost timidly if she could hold his hand while they fell into slumber. 

 

The two had exchanged many glances that night and conversed with each other during the ball. John had taken notice of her pale yellow dress and Angelica had warned her to not get herself in trouble by being associated with men as rowdy as John and his friends. But Peggy knew her own sister was smitten by one of Lauren’s friends. Eliza seemed to be as well. She brushed those observations off and had listened to her heart that pounded against her ribcage as she and John laughed together, sharing jokes and small talk. They had ran off a few seconds after the band had finished one of their songs, she had watched Eliza dance enthusiastically to the music. That night, Peggy couldn’t help but notice the freckles that splattered against his skin. It was one of her favorite things about him. It did stand out to her, however, when he asked her to enfold her slim fingers with his calloused ones. She obliged and they had fallen into unconsciousness with their fingers laced together.

 

* * *

 

 

Peggy asked herself why she was here. Why did they both have to be here? She happened to be in town which was a relief to her but why did they have to be here? The infirmary stank of blood and sweat, she knew too well it was coming from John, who laying in bed. He looked very pale and fragile, his lightly tanned skin becoming nearly sheet white. Once she had gotten the letter about his injury, inflicted in his work with the war going on, Peggy rushed over to the infirmary he was being held at.

 

“No— John,” she murmured in her soft voice but her dark eyes had widened, they were slowly filling with salty tears as she sat herself on a chair beside the bed John was situated on. The sheets were stained with deep crimson. His blood. Peggy asked the doctor multiple questions out of her worrisome state and the doctor answered nervously yet firmly. He allowed the couple to have their privacy as he shut the door softly as he exited the room. John’s eyes moved to rest on Peggy’s face, a meek grin making its way onto his lips. Sweat rested on his brow and his hair was disheveled. Peggy’s hand gently caressed his cheek bone, her own brows furrowed in concern.

 

“Dear, it’s okay. I— everything will be okay,” her voice was betraying Peggy. It cracked at the end of her sentence as she squeezed his hand. The Winter Ball seemed so long ago now as they sat in the tension of the infirmary room John was being held in. He seemed so weak. Peggy had never seen him like this, it was foreign and frightening. She began to rant on in fret of losing John, words falling from her lips in a rushed manner. John simply stared at her with a small smile. “I’m sorry for not being here earlier. I had gotten the letter and I came as soon as I can. Thank the lord I was in the area, am I wrong—?”

 

John had interrupted her rambling as Peggy pulled her hand away to begin pacing the room in her bold yellow frocks. He cleared his throat however his voice was still raspy, “Peggy.” The brunette quickly turned her head and rushed over to his side, obviously anxious at the sound of his weak voice.

 

“Yes, yes what is it, John? Do you need assistance with something? I can call the doctor.” A hand ran through her frizzy hair and he noticed it wasn’t tied up like it usually was. She had been in a hurry to get here.

 

“Hold my hand,” he said solemnly but a smile adorned his freckled face. Peggy could see the sadness behind it. “I am falling asleep.”

 

Her eyes filled with tears. They were hot and salty against her cheeks as they fell, her hand slipping into John’s own hand. Their fingers laced with each other’s as John’s breaths seemed to becoming more inconsistent. Peggy hung her head as she pressed their interlocked hands against her forehead.

 

“Let me call the doctor, please. He’ll do something. You’ll be okay, John.” She reassured him with a short laugh through tears as he smiled up at her. His eyes closed and Peggy told herself that he was merely blinking.

 

But why didn’t they open? Blinks only lasted a millisecond, right? This moment felt like eternity.

 

“John— no please. John,” her breath hitched and his grip on her hand went limp, however she held his hand tightly. He had wanted to hold her hand to help him go to sleep.

  
It was the first and last time Peggy didn’t want to hold his hand.


End file.
